A Very Floored Human Being

As some of you probably have heard us whinge about know, our kitchen was flooded while we were in Solomon. The flood took the form of a slow leak from the dishwasher, which silently but very effectively managed to completely ruin the floor in the kitchen, apparently without the tenant knowing (which appears to mean that the woman in question never used the bin). The guy who was called in by the insurance company to fix the disaster said, and I quote:

This is the worst thing I’ve seen in nearly twenty years on the job.

I know what you are thinking, right? “I bet he says that to all the floors.” Well, I think he was talking, more than anything, about the way in which the floor covering had been made in the first place. Lino had been laid down over masonite which was nailed onto cork tiles which were glued onto the floor. I tell you, if robbers had come and attempted to steal the floor they would have had a grim time time of it! But unfortunately so did the poor flooring worker, who had to rip up yards and yards of sodden, rotting cork tiling and masonite with the back of hammer while I made him coffee and took consoling photographs.


Anyway once he’d got it up, the true situation became clear; there was no way known we were going to able to use the boards in our new kitchen. Even after all the water had been sucked out with the dehumidifier, and they’d had several goes with the grinder to strip back the dirt, many of the floorboards still looked that sort of dark black-green colour they use for the make-up on Frankenstein’s monster in the B-Grades. The choice was either to stick with the kitsch gothic theme and go for distressed livid purple benchtops and dripping blood tile work, or, cover the floor up and start again. It was quickly made.

Anyway, after the price of tiling made us both cry out as if jabbed with needles, Louise opted for one of those floating engineered wooden floors that look very nice, and don’t actually squeak as much as everyone says. I’ll keep you posted. The full kitchen renovations are due to happen in July.



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